Do the opposite of what you may feel tempted to do. Third-parties can inhibit threats or attacks, and can pressure both sides to resume negotiations.
Building on their ideas does not mean shortchanging your own. So do the opposite. It means satisfying their unmet interests. If possible, set down your agreement in writing. Build them a golden bridge. Acknowledge their points and feelings. Use Power to Educate.
Then buy yourself time to think. Subtly guide each step of the way. Use power to bring the other side to the table. You may be tempted to push and insist, but this will probably lead them to harden and resist. Pull out a document or proposed agreement and sit down next to your counterpart to review it.
Instead, ask them for their ideas and constructive criticisms. They first explore how to expand the pie. Rather than telling them what to do, you let them figure it out.
This is hard to do, however, when the other side digs into their position and tries to get you to give in. Broadly defined, negotiation is the process of back-and-forth communication aimed at reaching agreement with others when some of your interests are shared and some are opposed. But in the real world of strong reactions and emotions, rigid positions, powerful dissatisfactions and aggressions, you often cannot get to a mutually satisfactory agreement by the direct route.
To engage in joint problem-solving, you need to regain your mental balance and stay focused on achieving what you want. Use power to bring them to their senses, not to their knees. Until you defuse their emotions, your reasonable arguments will fall on deaf ears.
When confronted with a difficult situation, people typically either strike back, give in, or break off the relationship. You need to make it hard for them to say no. It requires you to do the opposite of what you naturally feel like doing in difficult situations. How can you negotiate successfully with a stubborn boss, an irate customer, or a deceitful coworker?
Instead, educate them about the costs of not agreeing. An option is a possible agreement or part of an agreement. After every meeting, assess your progress, adapt your strategy, and prepare again. Step to Their Side. You may be tempted at this point to escalate.
These are counter-productive responses. Instead of attacking each other, you jointly attack the problem. Acknowledge their point, their feelings, and their competence and status.
Ury proposes a five-step process, as follows: A proposal is a possible agreement to which you are ready to say yes.
Step to their side. The best way to get the opposite side to focus on interests is to ask open-ended, problem solving-oriented questions. This is a classic mistake. They expect you to behave like an adversary. Allow them to shape the details.Getting Past NO is a negotiation handbook written by William L.
Ury. It is the sequel to Getting to Yes and was published in September and revised in March Overview [ edit ]Author: William Ury. Summary of Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People By William Ury Summary written by Conflict Research Consortium Staff Citation: Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People, William Ury, (New York: Bantam Books, ).
In Getting Past No, Ury presents a five-step strategy for negotiating with an uncooperative. The book, Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations, by William Ury, presents many points, ideologies and a framework of preparation to negotiate with confidence and manipulate tough negotiations from conflicting arguments to joint problem solving.
Getting Past No. Book reviews > Getting Past No.
Ury, W. (). Getting Past No, London: Business books. After the triumph of 'Getting to Yes', written with Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel, one of the most referenced and copied books on negotiation, William Ury has produced a solid sequel that adds significantly to the field.
Getting Past No is the state-of-the-art book on negotiation for the twenty-first century. It will help you deal with tough times, tough people, and tough negotiations.
You don’t have to get mad or get even.
Best-selling author William Ury has the topic of negotiation down cold. Reading this classic book (originally released in ) is a pleasure and the reasons it became a bestseller are obvious: It is clear, concise and eminently readable.Download